Rusty Law

Ever After

Divorce and foreclosure are often together as the winter and foul weather.  Regrettably, suicide sometimes figures in also.  While financial ruin and marital dissolution are biologically survivable, death is not.  Suicide may negate the need and expense of divorce, but it is really not the happiest state in the union.  

Suicide rates traditionally increase in correlation to economic down-ticks; however, they usually lag a little.  Records from the Great Depression show 15.3 suicides per 100,000 people in 1929, rising to 17 in 1930 and 18.6 in 1932.  Also the rate is related to unemployment, with a rise of 1.3% increase in suicides for every 1% increase in a state’s unemployment.  In Florida last year suicides were up 6% with unemployment near 10%.  The highest suicide rate ever was reported in 1933 when unemployment was almost at 25%.  

These are not happy figures.  They are something to watch out for.  Please note that the government funds the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.  

Tiger Woods is not in financial ruin, but he is in a bad lie.  His ad former campaign for Accenture is hopeful, though:  “It’s what you do next that counts.”  In golf and life, in divorce and foreclosure—this is an appropriate slogan.  No one should go through foreclosure alone.  

Mediation

My first idea of mediation was lie to both sides and tell them they have to do better.  

Before court, we had baseball bats and clubs to solve our differences.  Court was the original dispute resolution alternative.  Now we also have mediation, which allows details of a case to remain private, and gives the opposing parties more control over the outcome.  

Instead of going to court and paying a lot of money for an attorney to argue for hours, hanging out all your dirty laundry on public record, mediation offers a resolution you control.  

In court, you cannot predict with assurance what is going to happen, but mediation has different parameters, allowing both sides to work out a resolution.  The opposing sides control the outcome, not a judge.  Furthermore, private matters remain private.  The details of mediation cases do not become part of public record.  

It is bad enough to have a conflict with someone else, often someone who has been close to you, but mediation offers an alternative to a court resolution, and may be a better fit for many family law matters.  

Therapeutic Divorce

Divorce is a blood sport, but it doesn’t have to be.  Therapeutic divorce offers an alternative to the traditional sense of “till death do us part.”  It does not mean you keep getting divorced until you feel better.  

Once the love is gone, it’s just business—therapeutic divorce upholds that statement.  The idea behind it is to work out the details while allowing both sides to continue to be good parents, good employees or employers, good at whatever it is that they are.  Therapeutic divorce is not a new concept, and there’s been a push for it in Florida.  

One of the caveats of therapeutic divorce is that if the negotiations break down, none of the attorneys can continue to be used by the clients.  This eliminates any attorney incentive to keep the couple fighting for more money.  It keeps the focus on the business of how best to deal with the details, and also does not make public those details.  Because the process goes through mediation and not through the court, the dirty laundry is hampered from public view, another amenity to therapeutic divorce.  

Divorce in some cases is necessary.  As with any legal matter, examine your options and determine what’s best for you.  

Divorce & Housing in Florida

Florida is a get-your-life-in-order state.  You’re either married or you’re not.  You may have been legally separated elsewhere, but to buy a house in Florida, your spouse has to sign some documents, even if that person is not going to be on the note.  

Let’s say you move to sunny Florida for a fresh start with a new fiancé and want to purchase a home.  That’s fine, but keep in mind that Florida does not recognize “legally separated,” and the bonds of matter-money tie you back to your “legally separated” spouse when you go to borrow money.  Once the love is gone, it’s just business.  

It may not be good business.  Now’s the time to discover how very amicable that separation is.  Thus you could be motivated to tidy up unfinished matters.  A divorce may be a prerequisite to a home purchase.  The court cannot mend a broken heart, but it may enable to you to move on with your life.